This Chick is Spaced, yo.
Lisa Marie Nowak, Astronaut, drove all night from Houston to Orlando,. She wore diapers so she would not have to stop. Her plan was to kidnap her rival for the affections of another Astronaut. She was caught at Orlando International Airport wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB gun, rubber tubing and plastic bags. Once U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman arrived, Nowak followed her to the airport's Blue Lot for long-term parking, tried to get into Shipman's car and doused her with pepper spray.
Please read this story while humming America The Beautiful.
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posted by Robert @ 6:02 PM
12 Comments:
I prefer "God Bless America," but I think the effect is similar.
On another note, I would rather be doused in pepper spray than be at a point where I would willingly shit my pants for 900 miles. My theory is that she probably is just suffering from an alien brain parasite, which can only be destroyed by shooting her severed head into the center of the sun. Of course, her body may go on living, so that will have to be shot in the opposite direction, just to make sure the two parts never ever put themselves back together again.
Space zombies, man.
I'll never be able to ride Mission:SPACE again without chuckling.
I don't care how bad I'd wanna kill somebody, I'd stop to take a piss.
When you're buying a motorcycle you need to know about bikes, but you also need to know about how to buy a bike, and that has nothing to do with engines and manufacturing. One important detail where a lot of people that purchase motorcycles go wrong is getting the right loan.
You know what makes me want to drive 900 miles to threaten someone - lack of updates. The flaming diaper on your doorstep will most likely be filled with my crap.
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