This Chick is Spaced, yo.
Lisa Marie Nowak, Astronaut, drove all night from Houston to Orlando,. She wore diapers so she would not have to stop. Her plan was to kidnap her rival for the affections of another Astronaut. She was caught at Orlando International Airport wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB gun, rubber tubing and plastic bags. Once U.S. Air Force Capt. Colleen Shipman arrived, Nowak followed her to the airport's Blue Lot for long-term parking, tried to get into Shipman's car and doused her with pepper spray.
Please read this story while humming America The Beautiful.